The Dying Day
by khushiyan
Summary: Sailor Fuku to Kikanjuu AU: After being kidnapped Izumi is haunted by the aftermath.
1. Chapter 1

_The Dying Day,_  
**Sailor Fuku to Kikajuu **Izumi/Sakuma centric

summary [AU leading from episode 6 onwards] After Kinzo and Takeshi's death, Izumi is kidnapped by the remaining Hamaguchi clan members. Sakuma, Kenji and Hideki go to save her and fic deals with the aftermath. She's haunted by all those deaths.

* * *

~Those who are dead are not dead,  
They're just living in my head.  
And since I fell for that spell,  
I am living there are well. ~

_"Hideki-san..." she says in less than a whisper. "I'm... sorry Boss. I'm really sorry," he breathes and tears are streaming down his face. They drop down onto her face and she tries to speak but the sound of fresh bullets causes him to drop against her, shielding her again. His fingers hold her tight and she can't breathe. _

_And then he slackens. He drops entirely onto her and she thinks that the weight in her heart is heavier still. It feels like forever here. _

_It feels like forever here. It feels like forever here. It feels like..._

Her eyes snap open and she gasps as she awakens. It's a hospital she thinks....

"Sakuma-san," she whispers and instantly he's at her feet. "Yes Boss?"

Her eyes are half-closed and she tries to get up but he pushes her down. "Please Boss, you need to rest."

She drops back onto the bed and lets out a heavy breath as she stares up at the ceiling. "Where is everyone? ...It's just us, isn't it?"

Sakuma doesn't answer and he looks away. A tear slips down the side of her face and she doesn't wipe it away. "What do we do now?" she breathes and Sakuma stops and watches her until she falls asleep and for some time after.

***

"Boss," he whispers. She looks up at him slowly, her eyes keeping a strange hardened look behind her glasses. "Would you like to go home now?"

Sakuma waits patiently for an answer but she's silent. She hasn't spoken since then and he's almost forgotten what her voice sounds like. But still he waits, trying to read her face, mere inches away. He sighs and sits back and stares at his hands. She watches him. There's a dark purple bruise on his right cheekbone. His bottom lip is split and she knows that under his suit there's a stab wound trying to heal and dozens of cuts and bruises. She looks at her own bandaged hand and sighs.

***

She watches as he limps to the front door, taking the keys out to open the door slowly. His hands skim over the Medaka signboard and she has to look away. Sakuma pushes the door open gently and stares inside and she waits for him to move.

But he stands there, searching for something, waiting for something.

Sakuma turns around to look at her and she can't bring herself to move. "Boss," he rumbles and something pulls her in. She stands at the doorway of the main room, dust lightly settling all over. Sakuma moves inside, taking items out large box and wiping them clean.

"I'm home," she whispers ever so lightly but he doesn't hear.

Her eyes rest on the group photograph at the alter and something inside her drops. She wants to be sick as Sakuma removes it and looks it gently.

***

She sits by the lion overlooking the province, watching as the sun bleeds in the sky. Sakuma's footsteps patter towards her and he stops a foot away. "Boss," he says quietly. She doesn't move so he edges closer and crouches down so he can look at her face. "Boss," he says with gravity, pulling her down, pulling her down. She swallows when she realises what he means.

She follows him downstairs and into the main room. She stops by the door, her finger nails digging into the frame.

There they lay, side by side, a white sheet covering their pale pale skin. Sakuma kneels in front of them, looking at their faces slowly. Gently he turns to look at her and the expression on his face quietens. "Boss," he whispers and gestures for her to come.

There's a rock inside of her that doesn't want to move; it causes her to push against the door and she has to force her feet to move. Sakuma watches the effort and gradually gets up, ignoring the pain, and leads her towards them. He's half-dragging her across the room and when she reaches them, she falls hard on her knees and he winces.

Her heart fills with something she can't explain as she stares at the two boys in front of her. Kenji-san, his bright blonde hair now dull.

_"Get her out of here!" _

And Hideki-san... _"I'm... sorry Boss. I'm really sorry."_

She snaps her eyes shut and she can remember different days, when they were smiling and laughing and bickering.

But when her eyes open all she can see is that dying day. And you can't even tell, she thinks as she begins to stroke Hideki's head. You can't even tell. Somewhere in her throat a sob attempts to escape but she takes a long and painful gasp to let it stop.

Night falls and she's still there, watching over the two, Sakuma a shadow lingering in the back. And when sunlight falls and lights the two boys up and she smiles and thinks they were so handsome. Why didn't I tease them for it? Always touching their hair up or adding to the tattoos. Why didn't I...

A warm hand squeezes her shoulder. "Boss, it's time..."

She glances up at him but he's looking past her at them.

***

She watches as he grimaces in pain.

He stands up quickly and winces at the sharp pain on the left side of his abdomen. He glances down and sighs as he looks at the small drops of blood staining the white shirt. He almost ignores it when she grabs his arm and stops him from moving away. "We need to go to the hospital," she says and her voice is cracked.

She's not looking at him but her hand is tight on his wrist. "Boss, it's okay," he says in an unbelievable voice but she tugs at him.

She pulls him all the way to a taxi and asks to be taken to the hospital. Sakuma bites his lip and stares at her, her hand still holding tightly to his wrist.

And when the doctor takes him away to redo the sutures, she stands against the wall and clenches her fists. "You can come in if you like," the nurse tells her as he takes a tray of bandages inside.

Slowly she edges in and instantly retreats to the wall. She watches with silent tears running down her face as the doctor explains to Sakuma how to better look after the wound, not to exert himself, not to hurt himself. "Yes Doctor," Sakuma nods and when he looks up he sees her. "Boss," he says slowly. Her tears are still running and she nods.

***

It's a small house on the outer edges of Tokoyo, the last before the countryside. She doesn't ask how he got the house because she doesn't know what she wants to hear today. It really is beautiful, she thinks as she steps through the front garden and towards the house. "Boss you can have the honour," Sakuma says. She looks at him as he steps towards her. There's a hopefulness in his face, a kind that she recognises without him even showing it. Gently she takes the keys.

She looks at them in her hand and furrows her brow. Slowly she opens the door and peers inside hesitantly. There's a strong smell of wood and dust and she walks inside slowly. Sunlight from the windows blind her and she raises her hand up to her eyes to shield herself. "Welcome home," Sakuma says with a gentle voice and she turns to look at him. He smiles at her and she gives him a small nod.

***

"I'm sorry I couldn't come earlier Izumi-san," Muyumi apologises in her sweet voice. "I'm really sorry," she says and bows slightly.

"It's okay Mayumi-san, I had a lot of unpacking to do," Izumi says with a smile as she passes Muyumi a bowl of rice. "I'm sorry dinner is so plain. I forgot to bring anything with me," Izumi mumbles and passes another bowl to Sakuma.

"It's okay Boss. Your rice is always delicious," Sakuma says with a smiling eyes. "Itadakimasu," he says and begins eating the rice.

"I know but Hide-san doesn't like plain rice," Izumi mutters and looks at the space next to Sakuma.

Sakuma swallow his mouthful and stares at her with wide eyes. Izumi lowers her head and clenches her jaw. "Boss..."

"It's okay Izumi-san," Mayumi says gently, glancing at Sakuma. "I'm sure Hideki-san won't mind."

Izumi pauses for a moment before nodding and she begins to tentatively eat the rice. Sakuma presses his lips together and then looks into his rice bowl. Hideki-san really hated having only plain white rice; it had reminded him of his days in debt and having only one meal a day.

"Please eat up Sakuma-san," Izumi calls out with a sing-song voice.

"Yes Boss," Sakuma nods but he looks at her a moment longer. He doesn't feel hungry anymore so he looks at his rice for a second, seeing only Hide's face and begins to eat it quickly.

***

"Mayumi-san," Izumi takes the plate Mayumi passes to her and dries it with a tea-towel. "Is it okay for you to stay here?"

"Huh? Of course it is. I can look after things from here and I'll only need to go in once or twice a week. Besides, Sakuma-san is here for a few days too. And you'll be at school soon as well..." Mayumi glances at Izumi who clutches the plate tight in her hands. "Izumi-san," Mayumi says as she leaves the dishes in the sink. "What's happened? Are you okay?"

Izumi looks up and smiles slightly. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. She continues to dry the dishes, moving the towel in small circular motions. Mayumi watches her work and can only smile hesitantly as Izumi bids her goodnight and goes to her new room.

"That girl..." Mayumi whispers. "Takashi, please look after her..."

***

She stares outside of the window, looking beyond the trees, beyond the hills and valleys towards something she can't understand. The wind shakes the house ever so slightly and instantly she thinks of the lion above the headquarters. She bites her lip at the thought and shakes her head. A knocking at the door causes her to turn and she asks them to enter. "Oh, Sakuma-san," she calls out in surprise as he steps into the room.

"I'm sorry it's very late Boss, but I need to speak to you." Sakuma shuts the door quietly and stands in the centre of the room.

"Yes?" she jumps off the window seat and looks at him expectantly.

"I think we should disband the clan."

She freezes at his words, stares at him with wide eyes. "Wh-what?"

Sakuma steps closer to her and begins to speak in a soft voice. "Boss, I think it isn't fair on you to keep the clan going." He pauses for a second, letting the words sink in. "I think it would be better if we disbanded. You can go to back to school and live a normal life. After a while you could even move back. You don't have to-"

"But I want to!" she says suddenly, cutting him off. Her hands are clenched at her sides and there's an impatience at the corners of her mouth. "I don't want to disband!"

"But Boss-"

"No. I don't want to. I refuse to._ I _decide whether we disband and we are _not _disbanding," she says with a finality that hangs in the air.

Sakuma looks to the floor and gives a deep bow. "Please forgive me for my rash words; I didn't think. Good night." He leaves the room quickly and her knees give way and she falls to the floor. "You can't leave me too," she cries to herself.

***

"Sakuma-san," Mayumi calls out to him and he stops outside her door. "Please come downstairs and talk with me."

He follows her to the kitchen and watches as he pours a glass of juice. She passes it to him and he takes with a thanks. "Is it wise to ask her to disband? We're all she's got after all."

Sakuma nods, a hesitancy in his eyes. "I know. But right now she's plagued by the memories. If I'm with her all the time she'll never be able to forget. That's why..." he pauses and shakes away a thought. "That's why I think we should disband."

"Sakuma-san, what happened?" Mayumi steps closer to him, concern in her voice and painted across her face.

But he avoids her gaze and clenches his jaw.

_Sakuma punches the man hard in the face and pushes him to the floor. "Boss..." he scans the warehouse for them and something in him drops as he watches Hideki fall to the ground, pulling her along with him. He runs towards them, fighting back the tears as Hideki's body grows slack. With a roar of anger he attacks the men. He batters them until they're all just bloody stumps of men. _

_And then he sees her. Under Hideki's lifeless body, an empty look on her face. "Hideki..." Sakuma drops to his knees and gently pulls Hideki off of her, cradling him gently in his arms. "You weren't supposed to die before me..." he murmurs. He places Hideki down gently, ever so gently as if he were holding a baby and turned to her. "Boss," he whispers but he can't recognise her. There's blood everywhere. "Boss please," he whispers again but she doesn't move. Her eyes are fixed on Hideki and Sakuma swallows with difficulty, a heaviness in his chest. _

"It... was difficult for Oujo-san," he says with robotic words.

Mayumi's eyes tear up and she presses her lips together to stop herself from crying. "I'm very sorry for your loss Sakuma-san," she says with a solemn bow and he doesn't know what else to do.

He merely nods and swallows as he leaves the kitchen to go to the guest room. Sitting in the darkness all alone, it all comes back to him.

***

Mayumi watches as Izumi begins to put the dishes away into the drawers. "Can't sleep?" she asks and Izumi nods with a slight smile.

"Come, let's watch a movie," Mayumi gestures and Izumi follows her into the living room. They drop down on the couch and Mayumi presses play on the video recorder. It's a comedy film and Mayumi chuckles throughout whilst Izumi just smiles. As the end credits play, Mayumi turns and looks at Izumi. "I think comedies are the best types of films; you can watch them any time and they'll take the weight of the world."

Izumi nods. "Yes, but I prefer yakuza films... I think Sakuma likes them too. I first met him there I think."

Mayumi sighs and gathers her courage to say her words.

"Izumi-san, you can't keep him forever," Mayumi whispers, looking at her intently.

"What? I know that..." she moves away from Mayumi and looks at her with confused eyes.

"Then you should disband the clan." Izumi stares at her, horrified. "Mayumi-san..."

"I'm sorry Izumi-san but you have to understand. It isn't fair on him to stay here; he should have a normal life too."

Izumi pulls away from her and stares at the floor. "A normal life?" she mutters.

"There's isn't anything for him here..."

"Yes there is! We don't have to disband!" Izumi protests but Mayumi looks her in the face with a knowingness she despises.

"Izumi-san, you have to let him go," and Mayumi's voice is loving but stern.

"If he goes he'll be just like them!" Izumi screams and Mayumi stares at her. "Izumi-san..."

Izumi stands up quickly and turns and bows to Mayumi. "I'm sorry, I have to go." She rushes up the stairs to her room and slams the door shut. "There isn't anything..." She falls onto the bed and tears begin to seep out angrily. She snatches her glasses from her face and flings them across the room. She lets out a scream of frustration and smacks the bed. She breathes heavily and stares at the photograph.

Slowly she stands up and walks to the photograph, staring hard at all of them, at Kinzo-san, at Takeshi-san, Hideki-san and Kenji-san... "You want to go too Sakuma-san?" she says and she can't look away from him.

***

When he enters the room in the dead of the night she's still staring at the photograph. "Boss, are you okay?"

She hears him approach her and stop almost a hundred feet away. "Mayumi-san was saying you were upset. Are you okay?" his voice is gruff and low and she can hear the concern at the end of the syllables.

"You can go..." she whispers.

"Eh?"

"I'm disbanding the clan; you can leave now," she says in a monotonous tone.

"Boss-"

"It's Oujo-san," she interrupts. "It's Oujo-san," she repeats in a whisper.

And he doesn't know what to do. He swallows hard, staring at the back of her head, wanting to ask her to turn around so he can look at her.

But he doesn't.

"Thank you very much Oujo-san," he says solemnly and bows deep and gratefully.

"You can go," she repeats in a hard voice and as he straightens up he realizes what she means - you can go now.

"I understand. I shall go in the morning."

He hesitates and swallows. He wants to take a step forward and tell her that it's all going to be okay, that he'll still be here. But he doesn't. Slowly, he walks further away from her and out the door, clicking it shut.

***

Mayumi is waiting outside and looks at him with grief in her eyes. "I don't think you should go Sakuma-san."

He doesn't tell her that he doesn't want to either, but he walks past her down the corridor and down to the guest room. She follows him closely and rushes into the room. "Don't go," she says suddenly. Mayumi drops to her knees and with pleading eyes asks him not to go. "She needs you."

He turns to look at her and his fist is clenched. "I have to. Oujo-san has decided."

"But she doesn't mean it!" Mayumi says with a passionate voice, not knowing that he doesn't either.

"Please Mayumi-san. Oujo-san will need you stay strong," he says gently. He walks to her and pulls her to her feet but she pushes his arms away in anger.

"You don't feel anything do you?!" she snaps and rushes out of the room.

His gaze is still downcast long after she leaves.

***

And when the door clicks shut she lets out a long shuddering breath. She hears him talk with Mayumi outside, and then later in his room. There are violent whispers and she tries to ignore it.

Dragging her feet across the room she lies in her bed and closes her eyes.

And there he is, Hideki-san's bloody face above hers and she opens her eyes instantly. There's nothing but darkness here and she waits for hours until the sun rises, staring at the ceiling.

***

"Sakuma-san," Mayumi says sheepishly. "I'm very sorry for my words last night. They were completely out of line," she bows deeply and he turns to look at her with a raised eyebrow.

"It's okay Mayumi-san."

"No, it's not," she says and he turns around fully to look at her. "I know you care for her more than anyone else so I shouldn't have said those words."

His face twitches slightly and he presses his lips together. "It's okay," he says.

"Please accept my apology," she says with an urgency and he smiles and nods. "Yes, of course."

And despite his smiles he knows inside what she had meant then. "Would you like breakfast?" Mayumi asks him with a grateful voice.

"No thank you, I'm going to finish packing."

"What?" her face drops and she steps towards him with wide and hurt eyes. "You're still going?"

"Yes I-"

"Please Sakuma-san. I have to ask you again, please don't leave."

His shoulders drop ever so slightly and he lets out a calm breath. "I'm sorry Mayumi-san but I must."

"You don't understand-"

"I understand very well," he interrupts and his voice is heavy and serious and Mayumi realises that even if he doesn't, he's still going to leave.

Her eyes drop and she pauses for a second before taking deep breaths. "What will you do?"

"I'm going to look for a job and try a new life," he says with a forced smile and she can hear the lies in his voice.

"You can never let go," she mutters but he hears it and he flinches. "Please, let me make you a farewell breakfast then," Mayumi looks up and says with determination.

He nods and smiles, but the heaviness in his chest still doesn't leave.

***

"Izumi-san," she breathes against the door. "Breakfast is served..." Mayumi pauses before speaking up again: "Sakuma-san is leaving soon. He would like to meet you before he goes."

Mayumi waits for a reaction but nothing happens. "Izumi-san," she calls out louder but she knows that the girl heard every word. Mayumi walks down the corridor, glancing back at the room now and then with a look of longing.

Mayumi enters the living room and stands before the breakfast table, a slump in her shoulders and a hesitant smile. He looks up at her and realises instantly. He looks back at the table and glances at the third place.

"Let's give her five minutes," Mayumi offers as she drops gracefully onto the floor. He nods and smiles ever so slightly, and yet in the light it looks like a grimace.

Fifteen minutes pass and Mayumi looks at Sakuma's solemn face. "I'm sorry Sakuma-san," she says gently and he nods, hiding the disappointment in his heart.

"Itadikimasu," he says low and soft and begins to eat despite the full feeling in his stomach.

***

"Izumi-san, Sakuma-san is leaving soon..." Mayumi calls through the door and her heart stills in her chest. She can't move just yet though. "Izumi-san," she hears Mayumi say with a despondent voice.

She hears Mayumi slowly patter down the hall and a breath tightens inside her. Slowly she heaves herself up and looks at the photograph. She sighs heavily and walks to the door. Her hand is at the doorknob when she looks back at the photograph and looks at Sakuma with a frown. She turns back to the door and with the same frown she opens the door quietly.

Soundlessly she walks down the stairs and stops against the wall of the family room. She frowns when she hears nothing. "Let's give her five minutes," she hears Mayumi say and she can even hear his nod. She tries to go in but something stops her. A tug at the bottom of her heart causes her to recoil from the room and step backwards towards the stairs. "I can't..." she begins but she can't end the sentence.

Her head hangs low as she turns and slowly walks back to the room. She clicks the door shut and goes to sit by the window. She stares out again, but this time she can see even less. She rubs her eyes and squints, realising she's not wearing her glasses. She looks about the room not thinking about finding them and sighs. There's a short knock at the door and she blinks hard in fear.

"Oujo-san," he says and she thinks his voice is like smoke - thick, rumbling and unclear. There's a strange longing in his voice and she clenches her jaw.

She thinks he's gone and she sighs. "Thank you very much Oujo-san," he says and his voice is still unclear. She flinches and holds a breath until she hears him leave. Her breaths are short and sharp until she hears the front door open and the two talking to each other. Their voices are low and solemn and she folds her arms over her chest, trying to ignore them.

And then she hears him leave. She turns away from the window but listens to every footstep and pause. She can feel him whisper something but she shudders and the sound of car driving away and the door closing causes that breath inside to become tighter still.

***

He stands outside her room, his head leaning against the door. It takes him an age to gather the strength the knock, and when he does he regrets it. "Oujo-san," he rumbles and it's strange saying it. He doesn't expect her to open the door. He steps back and bows deeply, "Thank you very Oujo-san." He stares at the door, his jaw clenched and his hands slack at his sides.

Slowly he turns and walks down the corridor and down the stairs, past the kitchen and living room and towards the front door. Mayumi stands there, holding his over night bag and she gives him a pitiful smile.

He nods as he takes the bag. "I wish you wouldn't go," she says as he passes her and his face twitches.

"Please look after Oujo-san," he says, not looking her in the face. Mayumi nods, still staring up at him.

"You'll keep in touch won't you?" she asks hopefully and he glances at her and nods.

He bows deeply and takes his bag and walks across the gravel path towards the car. He stops half-way and turns to look at the house. At the first bedroom window he can see her shadow by the window. "I'm sorry Boss. I'm really, very sorry... please forgive me," he says in a thundery voice and lingers before he sits in the car. He gives a small smile as Mayumi waves at the door and then shuts it quickly. He glances back at the window and she's no longer there.


	2. Chapter 2

She doesn't know how to move on from this. She doesn't know how to move past this and it stabs her in the heart like this. But what do I do know, she asks herself, what do I do know? She stares at the photograph, her heart bubbling and beating inside of her; she feels ashamed. "I'm sorry," she whispers to them. "It was all my fault..."

And then she remembers Hideki pressing against her, shielding her, and his blooding dripping into her own. "It should have been me," she cries out, startled.

***

"Izumi-san, what are you doing?" Mayumi whispers to her as Izumi begins to put more plates down onto the dining table than necessary.

She stares at the five other places she's set up and frowns. "Oh, right," she says, disappointed. Robotically she begins to pick them up.

"Are you okay?" Mayumi asks and Izumi nods, "Of course I am."

***

"Takashi-san knows how to fix this," Izumi explains as she stares intently at the computer screen and Mayumi stares at her. "What?" Izumi looks at her and repeats her repeats the words, stating them as simple facts, not expressions of longing. Mayumi looks at her with concern, "Izumi-san," she says in a strangely stern voice and Izumi glances at her with a long face.

***

"Hideki-san, I am _not_ going to watch that with you..."

Mayumi presses her ear against the door, listening intently to the strange conversation emanating from the room. She swallows hard and quickly steps into the room, "Izumi-san, what are you doing?" she asks cheerily.

"I'm watching yakuza movies," she says simply but something causes Mayumi to frown.

"Izumi-san, are you okay?"

"Yes, of course," Izumi says but Mayumi still doesn't believe her.

***

"I'm going to invite Sakma-san for the weekend, is that okay?" Mayumi asks her she holds a cup of water in her hands but Izumi shakes her head.

"No thank you," she mutters into her rice.

"What? I thought you'd be pleased ot see him," Mayumi asks in shock. Izumi stares hard into her rice and stabs it with her chopsticls. "No thank you..." another hard jab into the rice and she's no longer hungry. "I'm sorry, I'm not hungry," she gets up and stomps to her room.

"Wait! You've not eaten anything since morning!" Mayumi calls out but she stops as she hears the upstairs door shut.

***

In the middle of the night Mayumi gets up to get a glass of water. She passes Izumi's room and is surprised to see the light still on. Knocking lightly, she enters the room and finds Izumi staring out of the window, the photograph in her hands.

"Izumi-san, what's the matter?"

Izumi turns to look at her and shakes her head. "I couldn't sleep."

"Nightmares?" Mayumi asks knowingly and Izumi can't answer her or look her in the eye.

"Come," Mayumi takes Izumi's arm and pulls her to her feet. "We'll have hot chocolate and have a sleepover."

After cups of hot chocolate and biscuits, Mayumi is filled with dread as she tucks Izumi in her own bed. She climbs in beside her and wishes her goodnight as she pulls the lamp out. "Mayumi-san?" Izumi says slowly. "Hm?"

"I'm sorry about your father," she whispers.

Mayumi turns to look at Izumi who lies with her back facing her. "Thank you," she whispers. She slides back into bed and deep into the night she awakens and looks at Izumi again, knowing full well she's not sleeping.

***

"Izumi-san, why don't you want to go to school" Mayumi asks, leaning against the door for support. Izumi shrugs and looks back out of the window. "Izumi-san," Mayumi says slowly and walks to her bed and sits beside her.

"I don't need to go to school," Izumi whispers. "Kenji-san didn't and he's okay," she says simply and Mayumi stares at her. He's dead, she thinks but she can't bring herself to say it so she hugs Izumi tightly instead.

***

He picks up on the fourth ring and Mayumi sighs a breath of relief. "Hello, Sakuma speaking."

"Sakuma-san, it's Mayumi calling," she says in an unsure voice and he greets her warmly. "Is anything the matter?" he asks and it's a silent question about Izumi.

And as she explains it all to him, his voice gradually becomes deeper and deeper, somehow lost in a cloud of thought. He's silent for a moment before he tells her in a throaty voice, "I'm coming," and it almost sounds like anger.

***

He hesitates when he sees Mayumi's call. He doesn't know whether to pick it up but soon he does. "Hello, Sakuma speaking," he says, feigning coolness, something does an awful lot he thinks.

"Sakuma-san, it's Mayumi calling."

"Oh good morning Mayumi, how are you?"

"I'm very well thank you."

"Is anything the matter?" he says, wondering how else to ask about Izumi.

"Sakuma-san... I'm very worried about Izumi-san," his hand tightens around the phone. "She's been acting very strangely. She... she hasn't been eating or sleeping well, and she doesn't want to go to school."

He swallows hard. "Has she said anything about them?"

"She acts as if they're all alive. She spend hours talking to them, or cooking their dishes. He clenches his jaw. "At first I thought it was her grieving but I think something's wrong. She acts as if nothing has happened. I asked her to ask you to visit and she firmly said no."

"What?"

"I'm sorry Sakuma-san but I don't know why. I'm scared Sakuma-san. It's as if she doesn't want any outside help; she just wants to remain as she is."

And as she explains he can feel a stone on his heart. I thought you'd be better without me, Oujo-san he says to himself. I thought without me you'd...

"I'm coming," he says and his voice is hot and almost like anger, "I'm coming.

***

After Mayumi leaves for inner-Tokyo, she suddenly finds herself exhausted. It's as if everything has seeped into her and gnawed into her bones and she tries to shake it away but to no avail. Slowly she steps into the living room, trying to go to the kitchen to have a glass of water but her legs stop.

There's a strange dizziness and everything is moving away from her. She lets out a pained gasp as she crashes to the ground.

She sleeps for hours, for almost a full day, and in her dreams she remembers it over and over again...

_She opens her eyes and there's blood everywhere. It seeps through her clothes and through her skin and she can feel it settle in her bones. The man weighs heavy on her and the smell of blood hangs in the air._

"Get out of here Boss!" Kenji yells but it takes so long for the sound to reach her over the gunfire. The man lifts his head up and nods and looks beneath at her. "You okay there Boss?" he asks with a strained voice and a forced smile.

"Sakuma-san..." she whispers hoarsely. There's a shadow behind him and he glances back to see someone standing there. "Get off her," he yells gruffly and begins to kick him. Sakuma holds her tightly in his arms as the man kicks him repeatedly in the back and chest. She tries to cry out, to ask him to stop but nothing escapes her lips.

Hideki rushes the man and pulls him away, punching him repeatedly in the face and knocking him unconscious. He pulls Sakuma and her to their feet. "Come on! We have to get you out of here!" Hideki grabs her hand and they begin to run through the warehouse. Sakuma follows closely after them but is pulled away by two men. "Go!" he yells. A man rushes to stab him and Sakuma manages to overpower him. "GO!" he yells again and Hideki can only pull her along.

They're almost at the doors when a cry causes her to freeze. She turns slowly and sees the tanto pull out of Kenji. "Kenji!" Hideki yells and steps forwards to help him. Kenji turns to look at them and she's dumbstruck as he shakes his head and falls to the ground. "Get out of here," he calls out hoarsely. "Kenji-sa..."

A man runs towards her but she doesn't realise that he's aiming a gun at her until Hideki grabs her and holds her tightly. His arms wrap around her ears and the sound of the bullets and his gasps of pain are muffled. They stumble backwards and she trips and he follows, holding her even tighter. "A-are you... okay?" he manages to push out and she stares at him.

"Hideki-san..." she says in less than a whisper. "I'm... sorry Boss. I'm really sorry," he breathes and tears are streaming down his face. They drop down onto her face and she tries to speak but the sound of fresh bullets causes him to drop against her, shielding her again. His fingers hold her tight and she can't breathe.

And then he slackens. He drops entirely onto her and she thinks that the weight in her heart is heavier still. It feels like forever here. His blood and tears are her own here and it feels like forever.

Slowly he's pulled away from her. His body is gently put beside her and she stares at him, his bloodied face, his closed eyes and parted lips. "Boss..." Sakuma whispers but she doesn't hear. She can't stop staring at him. She can't stop staring at him even when Sakuma is pulled away from her, even when a man pulls her up to her feet by grabbing onto her collars. She can't stop staring even when another smacks her hard on the face and spits in her face. And she can't stop even when he pulls out a tanto.

She expects to die here. She expects to be killed and leave them all and wake up and realize it's only a dream. That she never knew these men, never loved or lost them.

And when she looks back at the man, at his gleaming knife she doesn't know what else to do but to look for Kenji, to look for Hideki, for Takeshi and Kinzo.

She expects to die.

But Sakuma is somehow here again and she hears him grunt as the tanto cuts into him. She falls to the floor as the man behind her lets go and everything is unclear as Sakuma fights.

She expects to die here... suddenly it's strange and the men disperse and Sakuma is here, talking to her, pulling her face close to his but nothing makes sense. All she can see is the blood dripping down his face. All she can see is Hideki and Kenji and Takashi and Kinzo's blood.

"Boss," he whispers. "Boss..." He taps her face lightly and her eyes blur. She pulls away from him not realizing who he is and she recoils until he says her name and steps towards her slowly. A wave of nausea fills her stomach and she vomits violently, silently on the floor. When there's nothing she feels him grab her by the arms and pull her to feet. He hugs her tight and she falls slack against him.

***

She awakens with a gasp and looks about the room. She almost doesn't recognize it but soon her memory returns and sits up, breathing heavily. The memories leave a strange taste in her mouth and runs to the bathroom and vomits in the toilet.

She pulls back and sits against the bathtun, taking in great chunks of air. She's forgotten how to breathe she thinks. With shaking legs she stands up and washes her face with cold water.

"It was just a dream..." she says monotonously, ignoring the voice inside her saying _no it wasn't Izumi, no it wasn't..._

***

When he arrives he finds her making rice. She dishes it out for seven place settings and he realises what's happening. "There you are Takeshi-san," she says as she places it beside the water cup. She stands up with a smile and freezes when she sees him standing there. "Sakuma-san?" she says and she clutches the tray tightly in her hands.

He stares at her with an expression on his face that she can't understand. It's almost like anger she thinks. "Would you like to join us for dinner?"

His face twitches and he snaps. He turns to the table nad turns it over, the plates crashing to the floor. "Sakuma-san!" she screams and tries to salvage the food. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he roars as she tries to pick up a bowl of rice.

"What are you doing?!" she cries out as he takes the bowls of rice and empties them out into the bin. She tries to stop him, trying to grab his arms but he pushes her out of the way and grabs another. "Sakuma-san! Stop it! What are you doing!?" He drops the plate onto the floor and as she tries to run to pick it up, he grabs her by the arm and pulls her out of the kitchen and into the living room.

"What's wrong with you Sakuma-san?!" she asks exasperated. She tries to go back to the kitchen but he pulls her back. "What do you think _you're_ doing?"

"I was making dinner!!"

"For dead people?!" he yells into her face and she blanks.

He holds onto her shoulders and shakes her. "They're dead!" he yells. "They're all dead! They're not going to come back!"

She tries to pry away from him but he shakes her harder. "You waiting for them isn't going to bring them back!"

"Yes it will!" she screams. "If I don't pretend I'll be all alone!"

He stares at her in disbelief. "What?"

"They all died! They all left me. You all left me alone! Mother, Father, Kinzo-san, Takashi-san, Hideki-san, Kenji-san, Sakuma-san! You all left me!" He lets go of her, his hands drop to his sides and he looks at her with wides eyes as tears stream down her face.

"I'm all alone!!" she cries out and she drops to her knees and begins to sob bitterly. "You all died!" she gasps out in between her sobs. Her cries echo through the house and eventually he kneels in front of her and reaches out to console her. "Even you Sakuma-san..." she says bitterly and his hand stops, "I thought you died too and I wanted to go with you all. And then you didn't and you brought me here and left me alone..." She begins to rock her body back and forth, sobbing in her chest. "Why didn't you take me too? You all died for me and you left me all alone..." The sobs become louder and heavier and she cries out heavily, "I'm sorry.. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm _so_ sorry..."

Sakuma swallows and slowly reaches out to her. He leans forwards and holds her tightly. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Oujo-san. You're not alone, you were never alone," he whispers into her shoulder as she cries against him. A moaning sound escapes her and she hiccups in her tears. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

***

When she opens her eyes she's in her school uniform and is in the countryside. For miles around there are green hills and valleys and in the distant she almost thinks she can see the house. "Sakuma-san?!" she calls out but there's no one around. "Where am I?" she wonders and she turns around and stares out in shock as she sees them walk towards her. "Kinzo-san, Takeshi-san. Hideki-san, Kenji-san..."

"Yo!" Hideki shouts out and she's frozen.

"You..." The four beam at her as they stop and stand before her, dressed in their yakuza uniform. "Boss!" Kenji calls out and she's bewildered.

"You're all... here," she says in a shaky voice.

"Of course we're here Boss, do you think we're leave you here alone?" Kinzo says kindly as he shakes his fan. Written on the beige fan is _Medaka Clan #1!_ and she blinks as she tries to focus.

"But where am I? And why are you all here?"

"Boss," Takeshi speaks up, "we've come to ask you let us go."

"What?"

"You're keeping us with you and we can't move on as we should," Kinzo says calmly.

"But I don't want you guys to leave me," she says softly and Hideki shakes his head.

"We died, Boss. We have to go to our rightful place."

"No, you can't be dead," she shakes her head as tears begin to run down her face. "You can't leave me!"

"Idiot we aren't leaving you. We just have to go on," he says gruffly and she swallows.

"Boss, please," Kenji says in a sweet and pleading voice. "We fought with honour; please let us go with honour too."

She wipes the tears from her face but more run down, this time faster and more painful. "But I'll be alone..."

"Do you think we'd leave you alone Boss," Takeshi says with a sympathetic smile. "You have Sakuma-san and Mayumi-san."

"What if I forget you?"

"You had better not or I'll come back and kick your ass!" Hideki yelled and Kino smacked him on the back of the head with a fan. A small laugh escapes her lips and she sighs.

"I'm sorry... I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for you guys to..."

Kinzo shook his head. "It was in our destiny, Boss. We did what we had to do and so should you."

"We want you to have a beautiful, long life, away from yakuza. We want you to live for us," Takeshi explains and she cries out that she understand in between her gasping tears.

"It's been an honour serving you Boss," Kenji says with a smile and the four bowed deeply to her. "You were the best leader we ever had," Takeshi called out. "Thank you for looking after us," Kinzo says. "You were pretty cool afterall," Hideki says as he straightens up.

She swallows hard and takes a deep breath. "It was an honour being with you. I'll never forget you. And I'm really sorry I couldn't come with you!" she says and her sobs weigh her down.

"Oh you idiot, we never wanted you to," Hideki says with a sad smile.

"Thank you very much, I love you all," she says and she bows deeply and solemnly to them. When she straightens there is only Hideki standing.

"Look after yourself Boss," he says.

"Hide-san..."

"Sakuma-san is waiting for you. Look after him too." He lingers for a second before he fades away with a small smile.

She turns around, her hands in her mouth and cries to herself. A warm hand is on her shoulder and she looks at it. "Oujo-san," the man whisers and she turns to see Sakuma looking down at her with concern.

"Sakuma-san," she says in her tears.

"Shall we go home?" he says and when she opens her eyes he's holding her tightly in his arms.

"Oujo-san, are you okay?"

She beams at him through her tears and nods. The breath that had been caught within her releases with his smile and she sighs. "Thank you," she whispers. "I can let them go now."

He smiles at her and hugs her tightly, gently stroking the back of her hair.

***

Izumi stands and smiles brightly as they look on the now clean living room. It had taken an hour and a half but they managed to clear up Sakuma's handiwork.

"Oujo-san," he says timidly. "I'm sorry if I was rough on you," his head is bent low and she shakes her head.

"It's fine Sakuma-san." She rolls her sleaves down and asks if he's going to stay the weekend.

"Yes, if that's okay with you, Oujo-san."

Izumi rolls her eyes. "It's _Izumi_."

Sakuma blinks at her, "Eh?"

"Call me 'Izumi' Sakuma-san. I don't want to be 'Oujo-san' any more."

He thinks about it for a moment, and opens his mouth to speak but closes it again. "How about 'Madam'?" he offers and she throws a cushion at him.

It bounces off his head and he laughs.

***

The air is clear as she steps back in Asakusa. It's a bright sunny day and she slowly walks down the street in her school uniform.

She stops outside the headquarters and smiles. There's no board outside, no indication of it ever being a yakuza den. Slowly she steps inside, taking in all the memories.

Sakuma looks over as the door opens and he smiles as she steps inside. "Izumi-chan, welcome home."

Izumi beams at him and shuts the door. "I'm home." She glances at the pictures of her family and smiles. "I'm home," she whispers with a smile.

* * *

:D


End file.
